EXITING THE LIFE 11/19/06

Ex-gay ministries have existed for many years. I was first aware of this through literature put out by Teen Challenge Inc. in the late 1970s which featured a man and a woman who self-identified as ex-gay. They got saved, got heterosexualized, got married. In the picture, the woman could have been mistaken for a "butch" I suppose. She had short hair. I learned better later on. I now know that some butches have long hair. And lots of women who aren't lesbian or bisexual have short hair.

There existed in Albany NY for at least one summer Sunday night Christian meetings of a sort housed in a second-floor flat near the gay juice bar. I do not know which organization they represented nor what methods they used nor their success rate. None of my friends or acquaintances disappeared from the scene during the late 80s to take up a new straight life. They must have pulled from different parts of the community than the radical in-your-face activists that I was a part of and hanging out with.

How very odd in this day and age when GLBTIQ activists are protesting the inclusion of non-heterosexuality in a Department of Defense list of defects and conditions [an improvement over being considered as a "mental disorder"?] that the ex-gay movement would remain a source of hatred by those of us who celebrate our non-heterosexuality. Yeah, I am familiar with all of the arguements.

People in ex-gay ministries and counseling outreach services do occasionally wind up in bed with each other or with a wayward staffer. A few? some? folks seeking to get out of the life may feel deep self-hatred. Most? All? ex-gay places are run by fundies and we have suffered prejuidice and discrimination at their hands for eons. And yes, the monosexuals [homosexual and heterosexual] in the population do tend to believe that sexual orientation is static rather than fluid.

The bisexuals among us [that is the tribe I fall into] tend to believe that sexual orientation is fluid and [will at least give lip service to the idea] that one's sexual orientation throughout life can change and all of them are equally valid. AIS [Androgen Insufficiency Females] statistically are 100% either attracted to women or to both women and men. A few transgendered friends going through the procedures to match their external gender to their internal gender have experienced a genuine but unplanned sexual orientation change shortly after the introduction of hormone treatment.

So if seeking to trade in my sexual orientation for another one via the path that some people have chosen is not for me, I still do not have to invalidate those who have made different choices than I have. A campus which allows gay-straight alliances and glbtiq clubs to meet needs also to allow ex-gay groups the same privilege and voice that we experience and expect. A workplace which discriminates on the basis of past sexual orientation ought to be as offensive to the civil rights activist as one which discriminates on the basis of present sexual orientation.

A pastor who has recently confessed to dealings with a hustler [male prostitute for men] deserves respect for seeking to address his failings, regardless of how he chooses to do so. Ted Haggart has admitted to despising that part of himself which engaged in male one-on-one sexual conduct and will be seeking counseling from James Dobson [Focus on the Family leader, for those of you living in a news vacuum] because he wants out. Ted Haggart is married and he has broken his marriage vows. If I broke my marriage vows-- regardless of who I broke them with-- I might hate that part of myself too.

Give the man a break people. He done wrong. He is going to fix it the best he can. If he comes out deciding that he is gay or bisexual or straight I really do not care. I hope for his wife's sake that he is able to remain married to her and faithful to her alone. The GLBTIQ community is not the real victim here. Sure, Pastor Ted Haggard has been identified as someone who has been part of the very vocal system out in Colorado which would deny us civil rights. Should we deny him his right to decide how he wishes to conduct himself in his personal life?

The fact that restorative therapy has been dissed by the American Psychological Association back in August does not mean that it should be outlawed. Other mental health bodies have come out with statements of the dangers inherent in change ministries. Dangers like increased depression and self-loathing were mentioned. Reparative therapy has many uses with varying results-- depending sometimes on who is doing the reporting. Quite frankly, Haggard does not deserve to be on exhibit as "proof" that sexual orientation cannot be changed. And yes, even if he never embraces our struggle for civil rights, I hope he is successful in "exiting the life."

-radical sapphoq

http://www.telegram.com/apps/pbcs.dll/
article?AID=/20061118/NEWS/611180351/1116

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/529619_1

http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/
nation/11/19/19haggard.html

http://www.365gay.com/Newscon06/11/111506soulforce.htm

http://www.pathinfo.org/index2.htm

http://www.progressiveu.org/221844-the-ex-gay-movement

MIKE JONES, FORMER GAY ESCORT 11/4/06

Ted Haggard, pastor of New Life Fellowship, a mega-church in Colorado Springs, has voluntarily accepted administrative leave in light of the accusations of a "former" escort worker. He has also resigned from his position as president of the National Evangelical Association.

The "former" escort worker, Mike Jones, claims that Haggard had a three-year paid sex relationship with Haggard. He also maintains that Haggard did methamphetamine frequently during those three years before having sex. Jones denied selling the meth to Haggard, but admits that he "asked around" for it.

Mike Jones says he didn't know who Haggard was until six months ago when he saw him on the teevee during a workout at the gym. Haggard used the name, "Art." Evidence for these goings-ons: one envelope containing money with "Art" scrawled on one corner. Jones had two voice mails from Haggard but these had been erased.

For his part, Ted Haggard claimed he bought meth from Jones and received one massage from him, but no sex. He said he threw away the meth without using it. He said he was referred to Jones by a concierge of a hotel.

What is most intriguing about this newest scandal to me is why Mike Jones decided to come forward now. I doubt that it was out of a sense of public duty. Colorado Springs is noted for its' strong stance against glbt rights [even giving rise to a "Boycott Colorado" campaign several years back which was alleviated by a Coors beer advertising campaign catering to the glbt community]. James Dobson lives there. And Haggard speaks to President Bush or a close advisor once a week. I believe that Mike Jones is chiefly motivated by resentment against the forces in Colorado Springs which are blocking the passage of a gay marriage bill in Colorado. It will also be interesting to see if Mike Jones lawyers up for lawsuit purposes.

A male pastor having gay sex is no big whoop to me. I live close enough to Albany to have gotten to know some gay male priests and ministers who were sexually active with other men. It is probably bigger whoop to the wives of the male pastors who stand accused of the same.

sapphoq's verdict:
Mike Jones probably did sell the meth to Ted Haggard.
They probably did have sex.
The concierge of the hotel probably did refer Ted to Jones for male attentions.
Ted Haggard probably did do some meth, but probably not nearly as often as Mike Jones wants us to believe.
All three of them are minimizing their actions.
The evidence-- so far-- is not substantial.
The Colorado voters will mostly ignore this stuff and vote the way they were going to before the story broke.


radical sapphoq